6 Reasons Why Weddings Are Stressful

6 Reasons Why Weddings Are Stressful

6 Reasons Why Weddings are Stressful


When you first get engaged and are starting to plan your perfect day – whatever that may be to you and your s.o.– it’s really exciting, but it can also become very, very overwhelming and very stressful. Here’s a list of things that will stress you out and ways to avoid the stress.

#1. Picking the date
Picking a date seems easy enough. That is, until you really close your eyes and think of all the people you want there and if they’d be able to make on that specific day. Think about it: do you have friends from out of town, friends who are still in school, grandparents who go away for the winter (or summer). What about family members whose jobs aren’t as flexible as your own? Yeah, I know, there’s a lot to think about, a lot of reason to fell stressful.

Solution #1: call your closes friends and family, who you can’t imagine your day without. Now ask them (beforehand) if there are any days / weeks they won’t be able to make it. Then give them the date you and your s.o. were looking at.

Solution #2: if you and your s.o. picked a date and it has sentimental value to you, then make sure you give your friends and family ample warning so that they can plan around it. It is just one day after all.


#2. Picking the type of wedding you want

Choosing what type of wedding you want may seem simple to you, but it isn’t your wedding, it’s you and your s.o.’s wedding. Maybe you wanted a small close family and friends wedding, but your s.o. wants a huge bash. This is something you need to talk about. Once you figure out who’s coming, now you need to decide if it will be a destination wedding, an in-town wedding or an elopement.



A little Backstory

To be honest, this was the biggest thorn for my fiancé and I. We decided on a big wedding (he has many family members and close family friends). Since we already booked a venue we started planning it out. I got pretty sick a year before the “chosen wedding date”, which made simple decisions really hard. The wedding coordinator from the venue was asking for final guest lists, seating charts and more, and I broke down. Simple questions became stressful ones because we hadn’t even made an official guest list at that point.

I spoke with my s.o. and suggested going away and eloping on a beautiful mountain with just our immediate families and really close friends. He was not into the idea, but knew how incredibly stressful this wedding was becoming, so he suggested a destination wedding (in hindsight, I think it was meant as a joke at first).

I immediately fell in love with the idea and started researching. We spoke with friends and family to see what they thought and [almost] everyone was on board. No matter what, we wouldn’t be able to please everyone and are making sure that we can include family members who won’t be able to make it. By having a small wedding here, beforehand, at the courthouse (which we had to do anyhow, to make the marriage official).


As many friends told me: it’s your (my fiancé’s and I’s) day. You will never ever be able to please everyone, so do something you will both enjoy. Make sure you don’t go broke celebrating one day and then have a party here afterwards to include family who couldn’t make it.

Solution: speak with your s.o. write down all your wedding day wishes – how many guests, where do you see yourself getting married, do you want a romantic elopement, a big bash or something in the middle. Remember, you will have to make compromises in your marriage as it is a partnership, don’t dismiss all your s.o.’s wishes, it’s their day too!




#3. Deciding on a budget

This may actually belong as #1 on this list, but that depends on the person, I guess. Making a budget is hard. Talking money is always less glamorous than all your other wedding tasks, but it is something that is really important. It can decide where your wedding will take place and who will be invited.

Some things to think about: who will be paying for the wedding (you and your s.o., a parent, the parents, a little from everyone)? How much is each person contributing? Is this amount realistic? Are you and your s.o. comfortable spending this amount?

Now that you have a budget, you need to decide how much of the budget is going where. Think clothing [dress(es), suit(s), shoes, accessories], cake, venue, transportation, flowers, decorations, dj, band, photographer, rings, food, drinks, etc.. I used two great apps: wedding wire and the knot. These apps are great because they list budget items that you wouldn’t even think about!

Solution #1: speak with your s.o. and both your parents to talk budget, or decide with your s.o. if this is something you’d like to pay for yourselves. Knowing your budget before you book a venue will be less stressful in the long run because you know right away what you can afford and therefore there will be less disappointments.

Solution #2: do not go over budget! You took the time to make a budget, so stick to it. Going over budget will cause tension. If you both decide to up your budget, then go for it, but make sure it is a joint decision!


#4. Deciding who is going to be invited

Is your wedding going to be small? Can you only invite your best friend and close family members, or is your wedding going to be huge and you can invite all your co-workers and acquaintances? Speak with your s.o. to see who they’re planning on inviting. You may want a small wedding with only really close friends, but you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Solution #1: if your having a small wedding, tell your not-so-close friends this, so they don’t get offended, most people won’t be.

Solution #2: on the other hand, if your having a larger wedding but don’t want to invite acquaintances or co-workers, then don’t. Chances are if you think someone is just an acquaintance and you only see them at work, they won’t be expecting an invitation. Although, if you have two close friends at work and you want to include them in your day, feel free to!


#5. Choosing a theme

This is something people tend to do after they pick a venue – big mistake! Imagine choosing a modern museum as a venue, but you want a rustic themed wedding. The venue will be a big part of making your theme work. First, decide what sort of look or theme you and your s.o. want, including: colours, materials, textures, decorations, etc.

Solution #1: choose a theme that makes sense to you and your fiancé. For example, if you are outdoorsy people, maybe an ultra modern wedding won’t be ideal. Think of choosing a theme that is more rustic, or a greenery theme.

Solution #2: if you don’t have a theme per say, think of what you’d like at your wedding, what season, which colours, what sort of decor. These element make up a theme, you don’t need to call your theme “rustic” or “ultra modern”.


#6. Choosing a venue

This can either be a simple choice or an incredibly stressful one. Based on your theme, research different venues that will suit it. Imagine having a greenery themed wedding in a green house, like Aquatopia. What about a rustic themed wedding at a mountain side venue, like Le Belvedere, or maybe your having a destination wedding, like we are. My suggestion is to speak with a travel agent. They usually know which hotels are the best for your needs and then from their suggestions you can choose the one that seems the best suited.

Solution: make sure you know how many people are on your guest list, do your homework and (if it isn’t impossible) visit the venue before booking. Keep your budget in mind and let the wedding coordinator at your venue know.



Remember, weddings don’t have to be stressful, as long as you have great communication and understanding for what the two of you want. Keep in mind, a wedding is just one day and that the marriage is for a lifetime. Try to stay calm and relaxed. Take a weekend a month before or a month after the big day to go to a spa and relax, you deserve it!

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Have the Big Wedding or Elope?

Have the Big Wedding or Elope?

Have the Big Wedding or Elope?

Now that weddings can cost way over $100,000, more couples are opting for destination weddings and small elopements. Who can blame them? Everyone is expecting a wedding with hors d’oeurves, 5 courses, champagne, open bar, thank you gifts and more. This can get very stressful, very quickly, especially if you are on a tight budget!

Here are the pros and cons of both an at home wedding and an elopement / destination.

At Home Weddings



The pros of having an at home wedding are: all or most of your family members will be there for your big day. This is a great idea especially if you or your future spouse have grandparents or great aunts and uncles or older family friends. The older people get the less they want to travel, in most cases. Therefore a wedding nearby will allow you to have all your close family members there. You will be able to make a decision on a photographer, bouquet choices, dj, etc. and see their work before the big day. This way you can see their work and make an informed decision.

Another pro is your choice of venue, wedding cake and décor. You can visit the venues before hand and see what really looks like a perfect place to get married.


The main con of the at home wedding is the cost of it. If you want a beautiful venue you’ll soon realize it will cost you a lot more than a pretty penny. You will really need to speak with your partner and decide on a budget and stick to it. That is the most important part, if you don’t want to be in debt for the rest of your life. Who wants to start a marriage in debt? I’m telling you stick to your budget! The first thing you should ask the venue is: capacity and price, that way, before you fall in love, you will know whether it will work or not.

Destination Weddings



The pros of having a destination wedding are the price, the “vacation” feel and the actual location. The price of having a destination wedding can be as little at $100 for the marriage certificate / officiating. Although some resorts can be super pricy, most are very reasonable.

You will usually have to have a minimum amount of guests staying at the resort for your wedding to be the price listed. For example: at least 20 guests staying at the resort for a wedding with 35 or more invitees. Normally this won’t be a problem considering all the guests will be need to be booked at a resort, so why not yours.

Another pro, or con, depending on how you look at it, is the fact that the wedding will be virtually planned for you. You may have to have some input on colours or food options, but in reality there is next to no planning compared to an at home venue. You get to spend the whole week with your closest friends and family. My fiancé’s cousin had a destination wedding and the week we spent with friends and family was nothing less than awesome. Everyone got to know each other before the wedding and it wasn’t awkward sitting with people you didn’t know, because you knew everyone!


Now, here are the cons: most resorts have a maximum of 50 guests or less, and if your family is anything like my fiancés, then that will not be enough. If you are someone who wants all your friends and family there, this may not be the best option for you. But, if you want to have a destination wedding with a big guest list, don’t worry, there are still plenty of resorts that can accommodate you! You will just need to take some time and speak with a travel agent.

Another con is the fact that any friends who are on a tight budget won’t be able to make it either, unless you give them ample notice to save up. Friends with children or pets may not be able to make it either. If your wedding will be at an adults only resort, they’ll have to stay at another resort nearby and won’t have the luxury of spending the whole week with the wedding guests (this may be a pro or a con to them). There are family resorts though, so keep them in mind when booking your venue.

Another issue may be friends or family who teach. Unless you have a summer wedding or a holiday wedding, these friends will not be able to make it because they can’t take the time off.

You may also have grandparents and aunts / uncles who will not want to go to a destination wedding and would rather look at the photos afterwards. This can be hard, if you are a close-knit family, so this is definitely something to think about.

Remember, if you are planning a destination wedding, give your guests ample time to save up, find baby-sitters, pet sitters and time to decide if they would like to or are able to come to your wedding or not.




Pros: absolutely no planning, other than booking a flight and hotel, if you are going somewhere far that is. No worrying about who you should and shouldn’t invite. Just take off alone and enjoy your wedding for what it really should be about: you and your future spouse. Remember, just because you are eloping, doesn’t mean you have to go to vegas, think romantic mountain top, or forest!


Cons: People will be upset you didn’t invite them, family especially. If you are going to elope and you are close with your family, please, please, please tell your parents and siblings at least. You don’t want family drama because you were thoughtless. If you really don’t want them there then take the time to explain to them why. Believe me, they will feel a lot less resentful if you at least include them in the decision and know you at least told them. There’s nothing worse then telling your parents after the fact and them giving you the eye for even a day!

Your wedding won’t be documented in photos. This may seem like no big deal – but in 20 years when your children are asking what your wedding looked like, it may be sad not being able to share that with them. At least if you have a friend with you, you could ask them to document it for you. I’m sure they’d be more than willing to. If you are having a planned elopement, there is no one to stop you from hiring a photographer either, just remember to do so in advance.


So now that you have everything in mind, be sure to set your wedding budget and figure out which option will be the best for you and your fiancé! Remember you can find all options for every budget. An at home wedding doesn’t have to cost a fortune. There are many venues and food options including catering and even making your own food!

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7 Ways to Stay on Budget

7 Ways to Stay on Budget

7 Ways to Stay on Budget

Before we get to the 7 ways to stay on budget, you’ll need to sit down and make a budget with your fiancé and/or whoever else will be helping to pay for the big day. My number one suggestion is: after you make a budget– stick to it!


1: D.I.Y centrepieces

Girls and Boys, this can save you hundreds. My best advice is to use pinterest, make a board, name it Centrepieces and then search under the D.I.Y or Wedding category. You will most likely find over 50 that you’ll like. From there read the instructions, see if it is do-able. From here, narrow it down to your 5 favourite and then show your future husband / wife and decide on the final centrepiece together. Add a pop of colour, think of your wedding theme/colours, and think of ways to personalize the centrepiece even more.

2: A beautiful venue with budget-friendly prices — Yes they do really exist

Okay, this step will require some research, phone calls and/ or emails. I found the easiest way is to do as much of your own research as possible, and if you can’t find the pricing information on the venue’s website, the next step is to email them. If you haven’t heard back in a week and a half and you still really like the venue, give them a call. Weddings are priority for most venues because of how much money they make off of them, so chances are they will be just as eager to call you back as you are to get the information.

Once you receive all your information, be sure to visit the venue with the venue’s event planner. Usually, the Event Planner will give you information that is not shown on their website, for example: special pricing, other food and drink options, special room pricing for wedding guest (if venue is a hotel, resort, etc.), what exactly is included (some venues come with decoration or won’t need much decoration, keep this in mind for your budget). Make sure you also mention your budget to the Event Planner.

Once you have all the information from all the venues, make a spread sheet in excel or on paper, you can use my print-friendly PDF spread sheet for this, if you need. Now you have all the information you need to make a decision on your venue. Remember, sometimes it’s worth the extra $1000 dollars if the venue comes with decorations.

3: Don’t buy your dress at the big box stores or buy it at all

Is it just me, or is it crazy to spend $8,000 on a dress you are going to wear for one day?! I think wedding dresses are over priced because they know women won’t settle for an okay dress. Every woman (or almost every woman) has a dress in mind even before they start shopping. Once you see the dress in person, you fall in love with it and have a need for it, no matter what the price. Until you look at the tag, that is.

Kleinfeld’s and other expensive Wedding Dress stores use only the best quality fabrics, but these dresses come at a very hefty price. To avoid the shock, go to a more affordable store. For example, the more affordable prices in Montreal tend to be on St-Hubert street, in Ottawa, David’s Bridal is a great option as well.

If you aren’t okay with spending even $1000 on a wedding dress, then shop online or buy a second-hand wedding dress, remember, we only wear the dress once anyways and you can bring the dress to a reputable dry-cleaners as well. You can also rent your dress if you won’t be attached to it once the wedding is over or you don’t want to hand it down to your children.

There are a few second-hand wedding dress shops online:

Still White

Pre-owned Wedding Dresses

The Knot



4: Opt for a non-tradition wedding “cake” (macaroon tower, wedding pies, etc,)

Wedding cakes cost quite a bit, while other options seem to be more budget friendly. There are endless options! Cupcake towers, macaroon towers, wedding pie (yum!), wedding pancake tower cake, waffle cake tower, cannoli tower, donut tower and so many more. Think of all the possibilities, start by listing your spouse and your favourite desserts, from there, let your imagination go wild. Maybe you are more in to candy than cake, you can have a sweet table with candies galore instead.

5: Rent the tux — the hubby will only wear it once anyways!

This one is pretty much self-explanatory. The only thing I will recommend is to shop around, some stores will have better options and pricing than others.


6: Ditch the limo if you’re having your wedding at a hotel or resort

Again, this one is self-explanatory. If you are already staying at the hotel or resort, why waste money on transportation. Let’s be honest no one will notice if there is no car, if you aren’t going to be going in one. So save the hassle of finding a rental company and save your money by opting out of this costly tradition.


7: Reduce the guest list

You don’t need to invite work acquaintances, they’re probably only going to come because they feel obligated anyways. If one venue is $5000 less expensive but can only fit 120 people and you have a guest list of 150, but you also have work and old high school friends who you never see or speak to, well… all you have to do is remove them.

Believe me, if you only see them at work, passing them in the hall or haven’t heard from or seen them in over 10 years, they won’t be upset that you didn’t invite them. Trust me, they won’t!

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