You’ve always dreamed of having a family. Now seems like the perfect time in your life to get pregnant. Great! Here is a list of topics to talk to your partner about before you start trying.

Do They Want Kids

This first one seems kind of obvious, but it’s worth talking about. People can change their minds over time about having children. Some people always wanted them, but keep putting it off because the timing isn’t right. Only to realize they actually don’t see a life with children. That’s fine, but you’ll want a partner who is 100% certain that they want children.

Life As Parents

Talk to your partner about what you both see as life with children. Who will be the primary caregiver, will you both go back to work, will you have a nanny or will your children go to daycare? Do you see yourself as a stay-at-home parent? Is your partner on board with this idea? These are all important questions to discuss prior to starting a family. You’ll want to make sure you’re both on the same page before going any further.

Discipline

How will you and your partner discipline your children? Do you believe in spanking, or do you prefer to use positive reinforcement or timeouts. This is especially important to discuss prior to having children. People tend to have a clear idea of what they believe in, when it comes to disciplining their children and it’s important that your partner and you are seeing eye-to-eye. If not, discuss the pros and cons to both options and come up with an agreed upon method of action.

Living Situation

You may be able to skip this topic if you are in your ideal living situation. If you are living in the city, but want to raise your family in the suburbs, or are living in an apartment or condo and prefer to own a house to raise your family, it’s important to talk about this. You may want to make the move to your ideal location, prior to TTC. Although, this is something that you can do while the baby is small, it may be a little more difficult though. There is no perfect place to raise a child, it really has to do with you and your partner’s lifestyle. If you have many friends and family in the city, this may be your perfect place. Other’s may want to be in the suburbs with a big backyard. Think about your ideal family life and this should help you to figure out what your ideal living situation is.

Sleep Training Vs. Attachment Parenting

Like disciplining, people are usually firm believers of one or the other. Your baby is crying after you just put them down for a nap. Do you run to their room and pick them up to soothe them, or do you let them cry for a few minutes until they finally fall back to sleep on their own. If you and your partner are not on the same wave length about this topic, you will drive each other crazy. Look at all the pros and cons to both techniques and choose the option that works best for both of you.

Technology

Are you okay with your children watching TV, using iPads, etc. How many hours a day will they be allowed to use these gadgets? This topic is a new one, but an important one in this day in age. A lot of parents use iPads and cellphones to distract their toddlers when in the car or at a restaurant. Again, like every other topic there are pros and cons to both, and there are also situations when you may feel like it’s okay to use technology to distract your children and other times when it not. As long as you’re both in agreement with when it’s okay and when it’s not, that’s great.

Your Roll’s As Parents

Will you be a hands-on parent, do you prefer your children are more independent. Will you go outside and play with your children or let them play on their own. Or maybe it will be a mixture of the two. Whatever the case, speak with your partner as to how they feel they will parent and how you will. If you’re not okay with their approach or vise-versa, tell them why you feel that approach isn’t the best, in your opinion.

These are just some of the many topics you and your partner should discuss before planning a pregnancy. If you have other topics that you feel are important, let us know what they are and why they are important to you!

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